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Things to Consider Before Separation (and Divorce)
1. If you have children, do not leave the marital residence until you have an agreed and signed parenting time plan detailing when each party can spend time with the children. It is much easier to leave the home then to get back in once you have left. New Jersey does not recognize legal separation, but the parties can privately contract an agreement, called a Consent Order, laying out various issues such as parenting time and child support.
2. Sanitize your online profile. In any custody fight, the first thing your opposing counsel will look for is dirt that you have posted online. This can harm your chances of getting an acceptable custody decision from the Court.
3. Begin saving a war chest for pending legal fees and all other costs that will now be your sole responsibility to pay.
4. If your marriage is not irretrievable broken, find a good marriage therapist and give it every chance in the world. Also, find and employ a good child the
Domestic Violence – End it!
Domestic Violence Is All Around Community
- In the U.S. approximately 1.5 million women are raped and/or physically assaulted by an intimate partner.
- Over half of female homicide victims were involved with their killers. Over 12 times as many women were murdered by a man they knew than were killed by male strangers.
- One out of every three pregnant women is a victim of abuse.
- 50% of all women who are murdered in this country are killed by a boyfriend or husband.
- 25% of college females have sexually assaulted. 84% of these victims knew them men that hurt them.
Domestic Violence is Learned Behavior
- Children are seven times more likely to grow up and repeat the same behavior as adults if they were raised in an abusive family.
- Violence is almost always repeated in a relationship. It almost never happens “just once”.
- The cycle of violence is repeated from gener
Common Adoption Types in New Jersey
There are three common types of adoption in New Jersey. Private adoption, grandparent or family member adoption, and step-parent adoption.
Private adoptions usually take place through an agency, the birthparents and the prospective parents. Adoptions can be open, semi-open, or closed. This describes the contact the adoptive family has with the birthparent(s) and whether the transfer of the child goes to the agency first before being placed or is placed directly from the birthparents to the adoptive parents with agency supervision.
Families or individuals looking to make a forever home for a child have to proceed through various steps and an evaluation called a home study in order to become adoptive parents. New Jersey requires all adoptions have a home study. A home study is an evaluation of the adoptive applicant’s potential to be a suitable parent for a child. The home study includes various interviews with the family, a home visit, and joint intervie
Custody and Co-Parenting Tips for Back to School
The new school year is here. For many families, this means organizing calendars, setting up school activities, and parent-teacher conferences. When a child’s parents no longer live together and the parents are either separated or divorced, the challenges for back to school can become exponentially more complex. Below are a few tips that can make this time of year less challenging.
Download A Co-Parenting App
In a previous blog posting, we discussed and reviewed various apps made specifically for parents who live apart and must co-parent. These smartphone apps help with communication, scheduling, medical appointments, and keeping your child’s day to day activities in order.
Keep in Mind the Big Picture
When co-parenting, the two options are either the parents agree, or they must return to court and seek assistance with the judge. Parenting is typically set out in Settlement Agreements under custody and parenting time. Life changes and o
Important and Unique Issues to Consider in a Military Divorce
The honorable men and women who serve in our armed forces also run into various problems related to their service. Some of these issues get less press than Post-Traumatic Stress (PTSD) or the failing veteran’s system to provide for their healthcare. When it comes to divorce and child support, they have unique issues to be addressed.
Those who serve in our military do not receive pay in the same way that most Americans do via a bi-weekly paystub followed by a year end W-2. The military receive what is called basic pay, which is taxable by the federal government. However, they also receive special untaxed income called unearned income under the IRS tax code. Common examples are Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), Overseas Housing Allowance (OHA), and Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS). These are military terms for free meals and housing that are offered to military personnel.
Divorced Families and Summertime
Summer vacation is difficult to plan when you are dealing with separation and divorce. Mix in work, camp, and sports and before you know it, you are dealing with smaller windows of time and schedule limitations. Keeping your special time for summer vacation fun is the most important thing of all. Here is the key: Be mindful of all parties and be open minded to all ideas.
Your children are out of school and all that matters to them is having fun. They want to be with their friends and not be split up by parents who don’t get along. They want to be busy and active, yet love to sleep and relax. Below are a few helpful hints:
Schedule your time wisely
Being prepared is half the battle. During the days when you don’t have your children, keep up with your housework so that when you do have them you can have total quality time. If you have conflicting schedules with step children and other parents, try to adjust your schedule so that you can all get more time to
Celebrities Are Human Too- Celebrity Custody Wars
It only takes a moment to be reminded that celebrities and sports stars are as human as the rest of us and go through the same ups and downs that we all do. Despite the money and power celebrities have at their fingertips, Steve Jobs famously wore the same simple turtle neck, tennis shoes and jeans the everyday day of his life. Unless you have been living under a rock, you know Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin are both facing time in a federal penitentiary for fraud. And like the rest of us, celebrities have vicious and ugly custody battles over their children.
If a couple cannot effectively co-parent following a break-up, then lawyers and courts become involved in making decisions for them. Many times, if a judge must make a decision, neither party will be happy with the outcome.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have six children together. For years they seemed like the quintessential happy family, wit
Custody, Child Support and Co-Parenting Apps
BLOG Post for May 1, 2019
Parenting children is a tough task. When adding the emotional baggage that divorce or separation can bring, continued communication between parents for the child’s sake can seem impossible. Thankfully, online and smartphone app stores offer tools to help parents who are faced with difficult issues that arise from a divorce or separation, including paying and receiving child support, parenting visitation, and general communication. Some of these apps are free while others come at a monthly or one-time cost.
Below are some of the most popular apps found on your smartphone or on the web.
Alimentor 1 & 2- Child Custody Log
Cost: Free 30-day trial/ $1.99 or $2.99 (premium)
Alimentor is a custody tool for divorced or separated parents to determine
The 5 types of Spousal Support in New Jersey
The 5 types of Spousal Support in New Jersey
Did you know that New Jersey has five types of spousal support (alimony)? Be sure to consult with your attorney to decide on the one that is best for you and your family.
- REHABILITATIVE ALIMONY is a short-term monetary award that allows a spouse to go back to school or obtain training to re-enter the workforce.
- LIMITED DURATION ALIMONY is paid for a set duration of time and is based upon the idea that the supported spouse will use this time to seek job training, education, and ultimately secure gainful employment and financial independence.
- OPEN DURATION ALIMONY is awarded until such time that the supported party remarries or passes away, and is not dependent on that party securing financial independence. However, open duration alimony can only be awarded for marriages which last longer than 20 years, unless there are exceptional circumstances.
- REIMBURSEMENT ALIMONY
High Conflict divorce and school counseling
School Counselors and Divorce
How to get aid in helping children stuck between high-conflict divorcing parents and school.
Behavioral and emotional problems in children are often seen in high-conflict divorce situations. Children with intense conflict are stressed and deal with anxiety in many ways. They feel insecure and afraid. Insecurity can cause growth and developmental issues within. The behavior signs can be shame and guilt, anger and aggression or withdrawing from teachers and friends. Signs are often seen in grades and social habits— on the playground and overall performance. Many children withdraw and/or get angry. School counselors are there to help children with family matters when it affects their behavior in school.
There are various signs a student may exhibit who is having difficulty with a divorce at home. Trained school counselors can watch for parents who tell the children false information or use the children as